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形容男人吝啬经典句子

50句讽刺男人的经典语句,瞬间碉堡

1、你的长相很提神。

2、你脑子进水没安排水管吧?

3、蚊子叮你的脸,都会想自杀。

4、上床呼噜震天,内裤经常反穿。

5、天晴了雨停了你又觉得你行了。

6、你真聪明,居然还知道自己是个人。

7、你是孙悟空的师弟,沙悟净的师兄。

8、你一出门,千山鸟飞绝,万径人踪灭。

9、大叔,你的样子好棒哦,跟棒槌一个样。

10、长得帅有个屁用,消费完了能用那张脸去刷卡么。

11、你光着身子追我两公里我回一次头都算我是流氓!

12、如果长的帅是上帝的恩赐,上帝好像就没瞅你。

13、一副禽兽样还想装成道貌岸然的君子,真是不要脸!

14、男人的死法:看见美女谗死,搞到手里美死。

15、我是你转身就忘的路人甲,凭什么陪你蹉跎年华到天涯?

16、每次我看你吃猪肉都万分感慨。本是同根生。相煎何太急。

17、毕竟这也不是一个人贱人爱的社会,你还是收敛一点的好。

18、人生没有彩排,每天都是直播;不仅收视率低,而且工资不高。

19、你去剪头吧,换个发型,就你这样的把脸档上是最好看的了。

20、在遇上诱惑之前他总是坐怀不乱;在没有用刑之前他总是坚贞不屈!

21、你有童年阴影?我想你不止童年有阴影,你少年、青年、年年你都有阴影。

22、如果你什么时候学会了真诚,我想,你身边的人不再会在你转身后发生呕吐。

23、人家说我嫁给你是鲜花插到了牛粪上,其实,我从来没觉得你是牛粪,而是狗粪。

24、想泡的人泡不成,那顶多就一计划泡汤;想泡的人被人泡了,那才是泡上了福尔马林,叫沥血

25、天是蓝的,海是深的,男人的话没一句是真的;爱是永恒的,血是鲜红的,男人不打是不行的;男人如果是有钱的,和谁都是有缘的;男人靠得住,母猪都会上树!

26、男人八怕:一怕情人怀孕,二怕老婆拼命,三怕小姐有病,四怕群众反映,五怕情人被泡,六怕麻将放炮,七怕赃款被盗,八怕失效。

27、鬼混这事如果干的好,就叫恋爱;霸占这事如果干的好,就叫结婚;性冷淡这事,如果干的好就叫严守贞操;阳痿这事,如果瞒的好就叫坐怀不乱。

28、男人,总是笑容满面,两眼放电,不是发病犯贱,就是坑蒙拐骗!女人丰胸细腰,放荡风骚,不是掏你腰包,就是放你黑刀!这年月男怪女妖,小心中招啊!

29、就你长那咸鱼样儿,还跟我提咸鱼,人咸鱼要腌半年早死菜了,能翻身吗,你翻给我看,你翻翻你翻。

30、他们怎么能管你叫猪呢?这太不像话了!总不能人家长的像什么就叫人家什么吧!怎么能说你长得像猪呢?那是侮辱了猪。

31、我脑残怎么了,那还证明我有脑,我一看你就没脑,回家叫你妈给你买两盒脑白金试试,看看能不能补补先天的缺陷。

32、你知道你家种的田怎么死了的吧?你妈从小喂你吃粪连自家田都没得吃!真是肥水不流外人田!

33、你以为自己是太阳呀,别人都得围着你转。你要知道宇宙之中也就一个地球,可能还让你的气焰烤爆了。

34、我每次看到你,都有一种特别的感觉,这种感觉就像是我做噩梦时候的感觉一样。

35、真的没有什么,不过是当灰太狼打电话的时候,一起编制一个又一个谎言。

36、给你点阳光你就灿烂,给你点洪水你就泛滥,给你点颜色你就开染房。

37、我总是不明白一个问题,为什么会有人认为你是男的呢?

38、我终于知道,世界为什么会闹饥荒了,因为有你的出现。

39、人和猪的区别就是:猪一直是猪,而人有时却不是人!

40、东方不亮西方亮,二逼啥样儿你啥样儿。

41、有事钟无艳,无事夏迎春。

42、你这人没啥特出众,就是面子够坚固

43、请不要用你拙劣的演技来侮辱我的智商!

44、带翅膀的也不一定是天使,他可能是鸟人。

45、长得丑的我见多了,但长成你这样就太过分了啊!

46、沉积千年的腐植质,科学家也不敢研究的原始物种。

47、从来没有见过你这样的,都说no了,还这样死皮赖脸地表白。

48、别在分手的时候和我说:其实你很好。那你还甩我?

49、别和我装出你活的精彩,过的幸福,也别祝我幸福,你有那资格吗?

50、男人出轨就像狗改不了吃屎,不要幻想他就此罢手,更不要听信誓言。

讽刺男人抠门的句子形容男人吝啬经典句子

1、不是每个女人都爱财,但是没有女人喜欢铁公鸡。

2、的确是舍得为你花钱的人,并不一定爱你;但连钱都舍不得为你花一点的人,何谈爱?

3、爱情需要互动,你在想着对方不舍得为你花钱的时候,有没有检视自己为对方花了过没有。

4、虚伪不可能创造任何东西,因为虚伪本身什么也不是

5、通常愿意留下来跟你争吵的人,才是真正爱你的人!

6、时间是最好的老师,但遗憾的是--最后他把所有的学生都弄死了。

7、凡是人尽可夫的女人,都挂着一个淑女的招牌。

8、你以为自己是太阳呀,别人都得围着你转。你要知道宇宙之中也就一个地球,可能还让你的气焰烤爆了。韩寒经典语录

9、你说和我在一起很快乐,很开心,你还说看到我,你所有的不爽都消失叻,你还说叻,看到我发信息过去,你就想笑,我想知道,是不是我是唯一一个女人都给你这种感觉得?

10、许愿真的是什么卵用都没有,要个身体健康他妈的没出正月又病了,我要你给我中五百万了啊?小气!

11、给小家伙买了一杯果汁,放在桌上喝了没几口,妈妈觉得小家伙应该不会要喝了,刚拿来喝了一口,小家伙就不高兴了,反复问为什么妈妈要喝她的果汁,而且无论妈妈怎么回答,还是不停的问同一个问题,是有多想不通呀,小气鬼。

12、我觉得女生是不是十分漂亮不是很关键,但凭感觉,我就特别讨厌有些女生一身妇女的谈吐,特别家居,特别有胆,装的跟大众之友似的然后全然小气,可能你们不懂,我还真遇到过。

小气男人的经典句子

1、男人爱上一个女人,不一定对她有强烈的亲热冲动,反倒对一些他只是喜欢而不爱的女人,冲动更大些。

2、男人的梦想之一,是拥有可以超越友谊界限的红颜知己。

3、男人的拿手好戏是撒谎,女人的拿手好戏是撒娇。

4、男人跌入爱河,很少问她的过去,不太关心她和哪种男人谈过恋爱,因为男人较注重女人的外表——外表就是现在。

5、男人都怕女人死缠烂打,但喜欢用同样的方式对付没追上的女人。

6、男人都喜欢媳妇好看,女人都喜欢男人能干。

7、男人对女人的爱总是混合了生理冲动,亲热前他觉得女人什么都好,之后却可以无半点留恋,但为了不背负太多罪恶感,他们可以装作温柔地在事后继续吐露缠绵的情话。

8、男人很容易被女人吸引,但他分得出哪种渴求出于性还是爱,大概知道能从她身上得到什么。

9、男人很容易喜欢一个女人,却不轻易深爱一个女人。

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